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Padron Millennium Nightmare - CONTEST CLOSED

denverdog

denverdog

Not now chief, I’m in the F**kin zone.
Joined
Sep 13, 2006
Messages
3,347
Last night I had a horrible dream and need to know what to make of it. Of course I could call a psychic hotline or read a book, but why would I do such a thing when I have the vast knowledge of the brothers here at my disposal?

Contest: You interpret my dream being as creative as possible. At the end of the contest I will choose the top three and we as a group will then vote to choose the best interpretation.

Prize: A premium sampler that will include the cigar in question, a Padron Millennium.

Rules: Must be a member in good standing (I will use my discretion), no limit on number of guesses but make them worth reading and please no edits, visual interpretation is allowed and may earn extra credit. Contest will run for 48 hours and will close on Wednesday June 6th at 11:39AM Mountain Time.

The Dream: I find myself sitting in a locked windowless room with nothing but my humidor and a toilet in the corner. I walk over to the humidor and pull out a Padron Millennium Maduro. This is my first PMM as I was waiting to smoke one in September when our baby is born, but for some reason I decide to light it anyway. Snip, torch, puff, I sit it down to let it rest for a few minutes. I come back and to my horror I see that it has tunneled the entire length up two sides of the cigar. In a panic I think to myself, do I call the vendor and tell them there was a defect, do I try to smoke it, what do I do? I pick it up to try and salvage it, but through the smoke I see myself and I am a middle aged Chinese woman.
 
denverdog said:
Last night I had a horrible dream and need to know what to make of it. Of course I could call a psychic hotline or read a book, but why would I do such a thing when I have the vast knowledge of the brothers here at my disposal?

Contest: You interpret my dream being as creative as possible. At the end of the contest I will choose the top three and we as a group will then vote to choose the best interpretation.

Prize: A premium sampler that will include the cigar in question, a Padron Millennium.

Rules: Must be a member in good standing (I will use my discretion), no limit on number of guesses but make them worth reading and please no edits, visual interpretation is allowed and may earn extra credit. Contest will run for 48 hours and will close on Wednesday June 6th at 11:39AM Mountain Time.

The Dream: I find myself sitting in a locked windowless room with nothing but my humidor and a toilet in the corner. I walk over to the humidor and pull out a Padron Millennium Maduro. This is my first PMM as I was waiting to smoke one in September when our baby is born, but for some reason I decide to light it anyway. Snip, torch, puff, I sit it down to let it rest for a few minutes. I come back and to my horror I see that it has tunneled the entire length up two sides of the cigar. In a panic I think to myself, do I call the vendor and tell them there was a defect, do I try to smoke it, what do I do? I pick it up to try and salvage it, but through the smoke I see myself and I am a middle aged Chinese woman.
Click to expand...
You have incredible feelings of inadequacy due to a smaller than normal penis and your mother probably hates you. There's more but I don't want to embarrass you.

Doc.
 
denverdog said:
Last night I had a horrible dream and need to know what to make of it. Of course I could call a psychic hotline or read a book, but why would I do such a thing when I have the vast knowledge of the brothers here at my disposal?

Contest: You interpret my dream being as creative as possible. At the end of the contest I will choose the top three and we as a group will then vote to choose the best interpretation.

Prize: A premium sampler that will include the cigar in question, a Padron Millennium.

Rules: Must be a member in good standing (I will use my discretion), no limit on number of guesses but make them worth reading and please no edits, visual interpretation is allowed and may earn extra credit. Contest will run for 48 hours and will close on Wednesday June 6th at 11:39AM Mountain Time.

The Dream: I find myself sitting in a locked windowless room with nothing but my humidor and a toilet in the corner. I walk over to the humidor and pull out a Padron Millennium Maduro. This is my first PMM as I was waiting to smoke one in September when our baby is born, but for some reason I decide to light it anyway. Snip, torch, puff, I sit it down to let it rest for a few minutes. I come back and to my horror I see that it has tunneled the entire length up two sides of the cigar. In a panic I think to myself, do I call the vendor and tell them there was a defect, do I try to smoke it, what do I do? I pick it up to try and salvage it, but through the smoke I see myself and I am a middle aged Chinese woman.
Click to expand...


Don't eat spicy Mexican food before bed.
 
You don't need interpretation, you need intervention.
 
denverdog said:
The Dream: I find myself sitting in a locked windowless room with nothing but my humidor and a toilet in the corner. I walk over to the humidor and pull out a Padron Millennium Maduro. This is my first PMM as I was waiting to smoke one in September when our baby is born, but for some reason I decide to light it anyway. Snip, torch, puff, I sit it down to let it rest for a few minutes. I come back and to my horror I see that it has tunneled the entire length up two sides of the cigar. In a panic I think to myself, do I call the vendor and tell them there was a defect, do I try to smoke it, what do I do? I pick it up to try and salvage it, but through the smoke I see myself and I am a middle aged Chinese woman.
Click to expand...
There's a theory that you interpret dreams as "you are or I am"

So.."a locked windowless room, humidor, toilet" I am... feeling powerless at this time, my temp is good but I feel like shit.
"Padron Millennium"... Good smoke, I feel good.
"Baby" ...new life, new things are going to happen.
"tunnel"... not looking at the broader issues, tunnel vision.
"Chinese woman"...lucky perhaps.

Summary.

Right now you are feeling powerless, your health is not that good, maybe mental health but you do feel good on occasion. You need to look on the bright side and your demeanor (luck) will change or rather,
you need to implement change for the better, make your own luck.

Good luck.

Brian
 
I'd guess whoever traded you that stick stored it improperly. :whistling:

And as far as the middle aged Chinese woman, I think Doc is on to something.
 
Ok, so I think that deep deep inside you are a little mexican girl who always wanted to be a middle age chinese woman!
PMM means nothing in this dream it was only a gate to show you your real YOU

:0
 
denverdog said:
The Dream: I find myself sitting in a locked windowless room with nothing but my humidor and a toilet in the corner. I walk over to the humidor and pull out a Padron Millennium Maduro. This is my first PMM as I was waiting to smoke one in September when our baby is born, but for some reason I decide to light it anyway. Snip, torch, puff, I sit it down to let it rest for a few minutes. I come back and to my horror I see that it has tunneled the entire length up two sides of the cigar. In a panic I think to myself, do I call the vendor and tell them there was a defect, do I try to smoke it, what do I do? I pick it up to try and salvage it, but through the smoke I see myself and I am a middle aged Chinese woman.
Click to expand...


OK... the room is windowless and locked, because you don't want that scumbag that stole your humidor at the office to be able to get to this one, since it's got the PMM in it.

A tunnel represents "the vagina, womb, and birth." Works well with the fact that the PMM is the birth celebration cigar.

Snipping the cigar is indicative of the circumcision. Congrats, you're having a boy.

The Chinese woman represents your "higher essence moving through you." You must be high from all the smoke in the room.

Your panic shows you feel helpless about the situation you're in; the birth of your child.


So, for the interpretation... Not a nightmare at all...

You feel safe, secure, but a bit anxious about the birth of your son. Absolutely normal, but you're going to have to stop taking all these illicit drugs before bed that cause these weird dreams once your child is born. Good thing you have a toilet in the room so you can throw up whatever it is making you see yourself as a middle aged Chinese woman. So, congrats... your humidor is safe, and more importantly, despite your anxiety, everything will be fine with your newest addition to the family.
 
i think it means you are a closet tranny with a side of insecurity.
 
denverdog said:
I find myself sitting in a locked windowless room with nothing but my humidor and a toilet in the corner.
Click to expand...

You have feelings of being trapped. The toilet is a symbol of decay, waste or removal. The humidor is your bastion of light, warmth, a symbol for the things that make you happy.

denverdog said:
I walk over to the humidor and pull out a Padron Millennium Maduro. This is my first PMM as I was waiting to smoke one in September when our baby is born,
but for some reason I decide to light it anyway.
Click to expand...

The PMM could symbolize your attempts to keep it all going despite feeling trapped stuck with a dirty toilet heh..

denverdog said:
Snip, torch, puff, I sit it down to let it rest for a few minutes. I come back and to my horror I see that it has tunneled the entire length up two sides of the cigar. In a panic I think to myself, do I call the vendor and tell them there was a defect, do I try to smoke it, what do I do?
Click to expand...

Fear of it all falling appart? You are expecting a kid, so I assume that puts a load on your mind..

denverdog said:

... but through the smoke I see myself and I am a middle aged Chinese woman.
Click to expand...

I take back all of the above. The last part means your a homosexual, sorry dreams don't lie. Move to San Fran.

In all seriousness. I have never heard of something like appearing as a middle aged Chinese woman. Maybe someone from your past?

Whacky dream and a good contest :p
 
You're a recluse with irritable bowel syndrome, that has a penchant for damn good cigars. You're an absolute idiot because you left a damn good cigar unattended, when there was clearly nothing else to do and/or see in such a room such as you have described, unless you were taking a crap. You didn't mention taking a crap so I can only surmise you didn't take one. In that case, you're still an idiot for leaving the cigar unattended in a locked, windowless room with only a humidor and a toilet. Besides, if you did in fact need to take a crap, take the stick with you and continue smoking it as you undertake such "duties."

As far as the tunneling goes, it's probably a factor of having utilized that particular cigar one too many times to "satisfy" yourself since you are, after all, a middle-aged Chinese woman, with no hopes of having anything else enter your "special places" other than a cigar, your fingers or, if you can fit it (perhaps you can you dirty girl), the entire humdior itself.

Now...what precisely did you use to "snip" this cigar and, more importantly, what did utilize to "torch" it? You didn't say anything about a cutter/scissors and a lighter/matches being in the room. And, how would you have called the vendor? You didn't mention a phone either...in fact, you were very specific about the articles in the room...which brings to mind..."seeing yourself through smoke?..." No mirrors present.

These latter factors considered, I would have to say that your dream suggests you are a liar, a rather demure and homely looking chinese lady, with no hopes of real satisfaction, who loves to utilize her cigars to satisfy herself in her holiest of holies, and then leaves the cigars unattended while doing absolutely nothing...and then lies about having smoked the cigar at all.
 
:laugh: Some good takes on it so far. I have to say that Devil Docs response was strikingly similar to what my wife said. :sign:

MiamiCubano said:
Now...what precisely did you use to "snip" this cigar and, more importantly, what did utilize to "torch" it? You didn't say anything about a cutter/scissors and a lighter/matches being in the room. And, how would you have called the vendor? You didn't mention a phone either...in fact, you were very specific about the articles in the room...which brings to mind..."seeing yourself through smoke?..." No mirrors present.
Click to expand...

I should mention that the humidor in question has two accessory drawers where my extra cutters, lighters, baggies and a random white owl received from a joker on this board are stored. As far as seeing myself, it was more like a 3rd person point of view at that point.
 
I find myself sitting in a locked windowless room with nothing but my humidor and a toilet in the corner.

<<This part of the nightmare has to do with the problems you're having with the wife now blocking all sexual activity since you knocked her up. Soon the room will be flooding from the floor up with an 'unidentifiable substance'>>

I walk over to the humidor and pull out a Padron Millennium Maduro. This is my first PMM as I was waiting to smoke one in September when our baby is born, but for some reason I decide to light it anyway.

<<You were saving the Millenium for a special occasion, little do you know in your consious life that this is the toast to the last few months of free time you'll have for about sixteen years. When your little one starts driving this will change. It will take a few months for your left and right brain to synch and figure this out. You may want to just toast the PMM now and enjoy your last months of freedom!>>

Snip, torch, puff, I sit it down to let it rest for a few minutes. I come back and to my horror I see that it has tunneled the entire length up two sides of the cigar.

<<This is just one instanace of the chaos and mayhem to follow>>

In a panic I think to myself, do I call the vendor and tell them there was a defect, do I try to smoke it, what do I do?

<<along with indecision, fear, grief and anxiety.>>

I pick it up to try and salvage it,

<<But you try and persevere through all of these difficulties, because that's what parents do. And just like all those before you, you'll do fine>>

but through the smoke I see myself and I am a middle aged Chinese woman.

<<This has nothing to do with the rest of the dream, you're just obsessed with middle aged chinese women. Hey, what can I say, asians are hawt!>>

Cheers bro, congrats and thanks for the contest!

Rob
 
You're wishing you'd grabbed a Don Pepin Garcia blend instead.
 
I think that by depriving yourself of all but the best, and morphing yourself into a middle aged chinese woman you hoped to finally win Wilkey's affections.
 
mmburtch said:
I think that by depriving yourself of all but the best, and morphing yourself into a middle aged chinese woman you hoped to finally win Wilkey's affections.
Click to expand...

I was waiting for someone to go there... Zing!
 
denverdog said:
Last night I had a horrible dream and need to know what to make of it. Of course I could call a psychic hotline or read a book, but why would I do such a thing when I have the vast knowledge of the brothers here at my disposal?

Contest: You interpret my dream being as creative as possible. At the end of the contest I will choose the top three and we as a group will then vote to choose the best interpretation.

Prize: A premium sampler that will include the cigar in question, a Padron Millennium.

Rules: Must be a member in good standing (I will use my discretion), no limit on number of guesses but make them worth reading and please no edits, visual interpretation is allowed and may earn extra credit. Contest will run for 48 hours and will close on Wednesday June 6th at 11:39AM Mountain Time.

The Dream: I find myself sitting in a locked windowless room with nothing but my humidor and a toilet in the corner. I walk over to the humidor and pull out a Padron Millennium Maduro. This is my first PMM as I was waiting to smoke one in September when our baby is born, but for some reason I decide to light it anyway. Snip, torch, puff, I sit it down to let it rest for a few minutes. I come back and to my horror I see that it has tunneled the entire length up two sides of the cigar. In a panic I think to myself, do I call the vendor and tell them there was a defect, do I try to smoke it, what do I do? I pick it up to try and salvage it, but through the smoke I see myself and I am a middle aged Chinese woman.
Click to expand...



I am no Freud, but I think I can help explain your dream.

The room represents your life. You feel trapped in it by forces outside of your control. The humidor (which I think was the stolen one) represents what was lost. Your bad smoking PMM burned poorly because you felt guilt about smoking it before the birth of your child. Your panic and uncertainty at what to do about the poor burning cigar represents the uncertainty you feel living in an ever changing modren world that fails to met your expectations. The toilet represents your only escape from your trapped life because as a married man and a father, your only true alone time occurs when you're in the bathroom. The image of the middle aged Chinese woman is central to your dream. It represents an old memory that you have repressed of a time you went into a Chinese massage and ordered a rub'n tug. You close your eyes and never see the woman until she begins your 'happy ending'. It is then, and only then that you see this face pulling on your manhood.

old-chinese-women.jpg


You feel disgut and terror and the thought of this old Chinese woman jerking you off, but you don't stop her just like you don't stop smoking the poor burning PMM because once your passions are aroused you seek relief regardless of where it comes from. The guilt you feel after this only compounds you frustration and leads to your uncertainty.

Prognosis: You will be increasingly drawn to older and fuglier looking Chinese women. You will spend your time in shady massage parlors. You will hit rock bottom when you hire an old Chinese woman as a house maid so you can get relief whenever you want it. One day your wife will catch you recieving your 'daily treatment' on the couch and then your guilt will really send you into a downward spiral of shame.

Treatment: Most would say that you're hopeless. However, I disagree. I think you can be saved. All you need to do is send me the above mentioned cigars and then, and only then can the healing truly begin. :D
 
Mark Twain said:
denverdog said:
Last night I had a horrible dream and need to know what to make of it. Of course I could call a psychic hotline or read a book, but why would I do such a thing when I have the vast knowledge of the brothers here at my disposal?

Contest: You interpret my dream being as creative as possible. At the end of the contest I will choose the top three and we as a group will then vote to choose the best interpretation.

Prize: A premium sampler that will include the cigar in question, a Padron Millennium.

Rules: Must be a member in good standing (I will use my discretion), no limit on number of guesses but make them worth reading and please no edits, visual interpretation is allowed and may earn extra credit. Contest will run for 48 hours and will close on Wednesday June 6th at 11:39AM Mountain Time.

The Dream: I find myself sitting in a locked windowless room with nothing but my humidor and a toilet in the corner. I walk over to the humidor and pull out a Padron Millennium Maduro. This is my first PMM as I was waiting to smoke one in September when our baby is born, but for some reason I decide to light it anyway. Snip, torch, puff, I sit it down to let it rest for a few minutes. I come back and to my horror I see that it has tunneled the entire length up two sides of the cigar. In a panic I think to myself, do I call the vendor and tell them there was a defect, do I try to smoke it, what do I do? I pick it up to try and salvage it, but through the smoke I see myself and I am a middle aged Chinese woman.
Click to expand...



I am no Freud, but I think I can help explain your dream.

The room represents your life. You feel trapped in it by forces outside of your control. The humidor (which I think was the stolen one) represents what was lost. Your bad smoking PMM burned poorly because you felt guilt about smoking it before the birth of your child. Your panic and uncertainty at what to do about the poor burning cigar represents the uncertainty you feel living in an ever changing modren world that fails to met your expectations. The toilet represents your only escape from your trapped life because as a married man and a father, your only true alone time occurs when you're in the bathroom. The image of the middle aged Chinese woman is central to your dream. It represents an old memory that you have repressed of a time you went into a Chinese massage and ordered a rub'n tug. You close your eyes and never see the woman until she begins your 'happy ending'. It is then, and only then that you see this face pulling on your manhood.

old-chinese-women.jpg


You feel disgut and terror and the thought of this old Chinese woman jerking you off, but you don't stop her just like you don't stop smoking the poor burning PMM because once your passions are aroused you seek relief regardless of where it comes from. The guilt you feel after this only compounds you frustration and leads to your uncertainty.

Prognosis: You will be increasingly drawn to older and fuglier looking Chinese women. You will spend your time in shady massage parlors. You will hit rock bottom when you hire an old Chinese woman as a house maid so you can get relief whenever you want it. One day your wife will catch you recieving your 'daily treatment' on the couch and then your guilt will really send you into a downward spiral of shame.

Treatment: Most would say that you're hopeless. However, I disagree. I think you can be saved. All you need to do is send me the above mentioned cigars and then, and only then can the healing truly begin. :D
Click to expand...

HAHA holy shit my side hurts. You are a sick man Marc but well done.
 
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