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Deep Thoughts

The Volusianator

Tick Tock
Joined
Sep 14, 2006
Messages
2,576
Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt??
 
Hell, I thought these were going to be Deep thoughts by Jack Handy.
 
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Can you cry under water?
You could, but you'd look dumb

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
On a scale of 1-10, 7.37

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Gratuity

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
No, everyone in Heaven is naked

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
The triangle ones were backordered

What disease did cured ham actually have?
Lou Gehrig's Disease

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
The moon thing was faked

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
You're obviously not using the right "medicine" before laying the baby down.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
It's then called a Seeing

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
You ever try to get in a TV?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Because most people are stupid

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway
To go turn the camera on

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural
That's a good one...

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
To feed to the chick you're trying to get out of the house.

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Yes

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Yes

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Goofy's girlfriend is MUCH hotter

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Because of the Professor

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Senior citizens. But that doesn't sound as appealing

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
No

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Yes

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt??
Asteroids are WAY too big to be in a butt. Well, at least mine.
Did I win? :sign:
 
2 of my favorites.

If you clipped the wings off a fly, would it be called a Walk?

If you eat pasta, then antipasta, will be hungry?
 
If you clipped the wings off a fly, would it be called a Walk?
Man, it really deep! :D



I also have some of deep thoughts but they only make sense in Polish :p

for example:

Dlaczego po schodach można wchodzić i schodzić? Czy schody nie powinny być do schodzenia, a do wchodzenia wchody?

:sign:
 
My favorite real Deep Thought:
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

Others are here.
 
I thought the title read deep throats. Oh well. :D
 
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