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Chuck Norris cigar line contest

JHolmes763

Drinkin' the koolaid
Joined
Oct 12, 2006
Messages
4,739
Here's the deal. Post your best Chuck Norris related cigar line and the winner will win a nicer 5er. Winner is determined by me and me alone, whichever one makes me laugh or impresses me the most. Should be good fun, no matter what, to come up with a few lines.

Cody5thou has agreed to sponsor the prize for me since I'm in far away places. I'll take care of him later. :)

I may have someone compile the entries so I don't know who wrote what, but it shouldn't be a big deal either way. If the first few posts say this is the fairest way to do it, I'll avoid the thread and go that way.

No limit on entries, they just have to be cigar related. Chuck Norris pictures with a line on 'em will be accepted if you're so inclined. Contest will run until 00:00Z March 8th because we only run on Zulu time over here. Zulu is the same as GMT, so do your own math! ;) I may be out of the AO for a few days around then, so I'll judge as soon as I get a chance. Just have fun with it.

Here are a couple I came up with in other threads to get you started:

1. Chuck Norris just looks as his beads and they wet themselves!

2. Chuck Norris lights both ends of his cigar and still smokes it to the nub!

Oh, contest starts now. :D

---John Holmes...

FYI this post was made at 8:15PM Zulu on March 4th for reference. ;)
 
Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars. He stares at them until they burst into flames and smoke themselves out of fear.....
 
Chuck Norris doesn't use a lighter, he roundhouse kicks it the end and starts a fire...
 
The best cigars in the world has Chuck Norris's beard shavings. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris doesn't shave so he asked Fuente to create the Opus to pass his time.

Chuck Norris was on a flight to South America and had a bad burrito, thus the fertile land in Nicaragua, Cuba, Ecuador, etc. Cigar makers rejoiced.
 
During one of our Cigar times together, while smoking an Opus-X "A", my good friend Chuck Norris once counted to infinity- twice....
 
Chuck Norris doesn't even like cigars. He just burns them because he's fed up with tobacco's shit.
There are no culebra cigars: Just cigars Chuck Norris has roundhoused, and those that he hasn't...... yet.
Chuck Norris smokes only Cuban cigars -- Chuck Norris trades with whoever the fuck he wants.
Chuck Norris roundhoused every employee of the A. Fuente organization. His reason? He's the one and only BBMF.



Edit: As a side note:

http://www.lonewolfcigars.com/history.html
http://www.cigaraficionado.com/Cigar/CA_Pr...2540,22,00.html
 
Chuck Norris doesn't freeze his sticks, the beetles die from fear.

If it looks like a Consuegra, tastes like Consuegra, and feels like Consuegra but Chuck Norris says its a Diamond Crown Maximus, then it's a f***ing Diamond Crown Maximus.
 
Chuck Norris can eat Marlboro Ultra Lights and shit ligero.

:D :D :D
 
It amazes me how good people are at coming up with chuck norris lines. I personally suck, I think...hahahah
 
Chuck Norris has smoked every cigar in the Acid sampler...only because he wanted 14 reasons to roundhouse kick Jonathan Drew

edited for grammar
 
Chuck Norris doesn't need a cigar cutter, he just stares at it and the cap falls off in fear.

chuck_norris_2.jpg


cigarcuttingxw5.gif
 
Q. Who would win in a fight Chuck Norris or God?
A. Trick question Chuck Norris is God.



edit. not cigar related but still needed to be said
 
Chuck Norris doesn't smell like a cigar. The cigar smells like Chuck Norris.

Lou
 
Chuck Norris has smoked every cigar in the Acid sampler...only because he wanted 14 reasons to roundhouse kick Jonathan Drew

edited for grammar

This is my favorite Chuck Norris one so far!
 
Chuck Norris once smoked a cigar wrapped in skin cut from his own arm.

Chuck Norris mistakenly smoked Gary Coleman.
 
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